The Adventures of Captain Otter

If you’ve been reading comics, you’ve probably noticed that many Marvel titles are returning to their original numbering in celebration of their 600th (or 500th) issue.  Personally, I’m not a big fan of this.  I like collecting things, and the collection feels broken up when my issues of Thor jumps from #12 to 600.  But how bout the issues themselves?  Are they any good?  I figure it would be a good things to talk about now that the tide of anniversary issues is slowing down.

The answer?  Yes and no.  Some have been resounding successes, while some have fallen flat.  Each issue has one main story that hopes to really shake things up, and then is filled with back up content and extra stories.  Thor and Daredevil are examples of issues with amazing, legendary issues with somewhat decent backup material.  Thor’s issue came out a year ago, and saw the God of Thunder fight his reborn grandfather before being banished from Asgard.  The issue was a culmination of the past year’s storylines, had some big fights, and set the stage for tons of stories.  We’re still feeling the repercussions, and Thor’s exile is going to be a big part of the upcoming Siege event.  You can’t ask for anything more, and this issue should go down as one of Thor’s best.  Daredevil had an even crazier issue, with Matt Murdock taking control of an army of lethal ninjas.  Yeah, you read that right.  A man who refuses to kill now runs an army of ruthless murderers.  The issue’s pacing was flawless, and built up to this big moment where Daredevil stops the Kingpin and takes over the Hand.  Both issues were absolutely fantastic, and are going to be remembered as parts of the best story arcs the characters have ever seen.

Spiderman’s big issue had a decent main story.  It was interesting, and had some good artwork, but wasn’t quite as big as Thor’s or Daredevil’s.  Instead, the issue had some downright touching backstories.  My personal favorite was a story that was only four of five pages long.  It’s told from Uncle Ben’s perspective, and talks about that he always told Peter as a child that his father would be proud of him.  Yet this never cheered Peter up.  Why?  We find out that Peter doesn’t want to hear that his father was proud of him, he wants to hear that Uncle Ben is.  That’s downright touching shit!  I enjoyed this issue overall, and would give it a decent rating.  It could have been alot better, but the timing wasn’t right to shake things up in a major way.

Some characters wern’t so lucky.  I thought Captain America’s issue was a waste of my time, and just did more to set up Reborn.  You find out that Steve might not be dead.  Great.  That revelation took up a grand total of two pages.  The rest was just didn’t catch my attention, and nothing worthwhile happened.  Then there are some worthless backstories that came off as filler.  There was one good story about an auction of Captain America memorabilia, which shows the impact he’s had on everyday people.  And then we have the Hulk’s special issue.  I havn’t been a fan of all this Red Hulk stuff, and the current overarching story has been pretty poor.  The issue itself didn’t have a great premise, and there is way too much jumping around.  All of the sudden certain characters show up, disappear, get kidnapped.  Some it makes sense, alot of it doesn’t.  The story just wasn’t told well, dialogue was annoying, and the artwork was mediocre.  Nothing about the issue was appealing, and the highlight was that Bruce Banner can no longer be the Hulk.  This was a pretty meaningless moment, since we know that A) the Hulk is coming back in a matter of months (recent issues have said it blatantly as well) and that B) the means of this depowering were left unexplained.  Something “big” happened, sure, but it’s not even going to last for an entire year.  So why do I care?

We have one more issue to look at.  Deadpool #900.  Anyone can tell that Deadpool is nowhere close to 900 issues, so this is all one big joke.  The issue was somewhere in the middle of the pack as well.  Some hilarious moments, sure, but some pretty lousy ones too.  Not the best Deadpool issue ever, but a good one.  Still don’t know exactly why they felt the need to have it all though.

Lesson learned?  Anniversary issues can be great excuses to tell great stories.  And they can also be chances to hype up something pointless.  I highly suggest you pick up the Thor and Daredevil anniversary issues, even if they might be a bit tricky to find.  Get them in trades if possible.  If you like the characters but arn’t into comics, these will be a great place to jump off.  If you don’t like the characters, read them to get a look at how interesting they can be.

This is weird.  We go close to a full year without hearing a word from the cast and crew of the Incredible Hulk, and now we get a slew of updates.  In fact, two in the same day.  The first is about the Abomination.  Emil Blonsky was reimagined as an aging soldier desperate to stay in the game.  When he sees the raw power of the Hulk, he jumps on a chance for a rematch.  He takes a version of the supersolider serum before experimenting with some of the Hulk’s gamma powered blood.  And you thought steroids were bad.  The result is a monster so ugly he makes the Thing look… not quite as ugly.  And it was all  going so well.  That is until the Hulk stepped in and close to strangled him to death with a giant chain.  Apparently a deleted scene showed Blonsky, in human form, all chained up.  It looks like the Abomination might not be done though.  Tim Roth, the actor who played him on screen, said he is still contracted to do three more movies with Marvel.  What?  Three?  Can the planet survive three more encounters with that thing?  Roth seemed to suggest that the deal was a bit confusing, and that it was a complicated situation.  He didn’t say if he would throw down with the Avengers or just stick with the Hulk.  He said it could be anything.  We might see the Avengers fight a Masters of Evil type force, and this could0 mean that the Abomination is one of their members.  If this is true, I would love to see him fight Thor for some epic heroics.  With the Avengers plot still unknown, it’s hard to speculate what this news means.  Tomorrow I might just make a list of what he could be in….

If this news isn’t enough, the director of the Incredible Hulk, Loius Leterrier, had a few words to say in a recent interview.  The man didn’t seem too fond of the green giant.  When asked if he would come back, he said that he is contracted to do another Marvel film but would like to do something other than the Hulk.  He felt the entire process was complicated since it was a reboot, and it looks unlikely that he would do a Hulk 2.  This isn’t too bad.  The guy did a solid job, but it’s not like he did something truly original to the point where he is irreplaceable.  I mean, you can’t do Batman 3 without Christopher Nolan because he’s so strongly tied with the project.  His vision was so unique that it would be hard for someone new to come in and continue it.  I can see another good director coming in and making the Hulk work.  Leterrier did have plenty of good things to say about the rest of Marvel.  The designs for Captain America are supposed to look amazing, and the man really wants to do more work with the franchises. 

He even proposed a truly fiendish way of doing comic book movies.  He wants to work with the other three Marvel directors and do a triptych.  After googling the term, I realized that this would be crazy.  They would have one big story, and divide it up into three or four segments that are around an hour and a half that are released throughout the summer.  One month we get part one, the next part two, and so on.  The result would be something more episodic, like we see in actual comics or tv.  So in other words, bigger stories and massive cliff hangers.  Leterrier was so enthralled with the group mentality of everyone making one world that he thinks it can work.  I have no idea what to say.  An epic, 6 hour story all in one summer?  I have no idea if that could get done, but if it could, then that would be the most astounding thing ever.  So all those stories that were too long or too big to fit in a two hour movie can be done.  I doubt that Marvel will take such a big risk right now, but maybe down the line when they are more established this could happen.  They are working on the script, so that decision would have to be made now.  It would be original and innovative way of making movies, and I can’t even imagine just how big the series could be.  Just think about an epic that would feature all of the Avengers, as well as any other characters that are introduced in the next few movies.  There would be no excuse not to include fan favorites like Hawkeye or Hank Pym.  And if it does happen, the world as we know it will never be the same.

Even though Robert Downey Jr. is confirmed for the Avengers, not all of his potential cast mates are.  Edward Norton, who played Bruce Banner in the Incredible Hulk, has yet to be added to the movie.  However, he did talk about that today.  Sort of.  When asked about the movie, Norton had no comment, claiming that Marvel is very tight-lipped about that stuff and said he would let them release any information.  He also said that he loved the Hulk, and felt a special connection to the movie.

So why wouldn’t they announce anything with the Hulk?  I mean they have the actor, so why don’t they just tell us?  The easy answer is that they don’t know exactly what to do with him.  Even though the Hulk is a classic Marvel character, he’s not always a team player.  He has a tendency to smash everything in sight, which is just flat out problematic when you’re the guy standing next to him.  The script isn’t done yet, and at this stage I don’t think they know for sure what the Hulk’s role is going to be.  Until they are certain, they don’t need to cast the character. 

Still, this news is a change of pace from Norton’s previous comments.  Earlier in the year, Norton had stated he just didn’t know what was going on, claiming that Marvel was hard to read on this issue.  There were rumors that there had been fights regarding certain scenes, but both parties seemed to feel like it was blown way out of proportion by the media.  So, if Norton still doesn’t know what is going on, I think he would just say so.  You only say “no comment” when something isn’t certain or if it’s kept secret, so something must be going on.  And what information is he talking about them releasing?  If he didn’t know anything, there wouldn’t be any information.  So it does sound like they’re getting closer to making these decisions, and if I had to guess, I would say they are bringing Norton back.  If they wanted to replace or ignore him, they wouldn’t talk to him at all.  They could ignore Banner altogether, and include only his bigger, greener, and all around cooler alter ego, but this just seems boring.  If I had to guess, I would say he’s coming back to wreak some more havoc.

There is also a question of whether or not Banner will make a cameo in Iron Man 2.  There had been a rumor a very long time ago that Norton would basically repay the favor for RDJ popping up in the Hulk, but we’ve heard nothing more on this.  That could be old news, but it’s worth mentioning it.  If we do see Banner in Iron Man 2, this would all but confirm his role in the Avengers.  I don’t know what the cameo would be involve, but it would be a fun way to end the movie.  If we’ve learned one thing so far, it’s that you always have to stay after the credits.

Two years ago, the Hulk declared war on the entire planet and came pretty close to winning.  Hulk got some revenge against the members of the Illuminati who sent him up into space, fought almost every hero on the planet and then squared off against an unhinged Sentry.  Only when he realized he had been betrayed by one of his own did he start to calm down and decide to not…you know… destroy the world.  To be fair, I think we can actually call this a draw.  The event got mixed reviews from critics, and I thought it wasn’t bad at all.  At comic con, it was announced that this war is far from over.  And what are they calling this new event?  I would hope they call it some classy like WWHII or something downright clever.  Nah, they decided to go with World War Hulks, which is the dumbest event name ever.  Well, even with the title, this is one event I’m seriously looking forward to.  Wait.  No I’m not.  I’m dreading this storyline even more than seeing a Vision solo series, and the only possible good outcome is that the Red Hulk can die and never bother us again.

Maybe I exaggerate, but the cast of WWHS (which is the accepted abbreviation) doesn’t inspire much confidence.  We get to see the Hulk (yey!), his son Skaar (meh), the Red Hulk (boo), A-Bomb (….), She Hulk (hells yeah!), Red She Hulk (wtf?) and probably some other characters with gamma related powers.  There are exactly two characters in that list I care about, the Hulk and his cousin.  What do they have in common?  They’re the only characters on that list who havn’t been created in the past three years.  Every other character on that list deserves some kind of slow and painful death.  The Red Hulk has been around for well over a year now, and I’ve given him the chance to win me over.  And he has failed oh so miserably.  I can live with him beating down some of the other heroes.  That’s more of a problem with the story than the character.  It’s the dialogue that gets me.  He just annoys me with every word that comes out his mouth.  Literally.  I reread all the issues so far and he hasn’t had a decent line of dialogue yet.  He can’t stop talking about how he’s so intense and smart and stuff.  Please.  Every comeback or witty remark he makes falls flat.  Also, they’ve got to show his identity sooner or later.  I would have been satisfied if in issue six, they just said it was Samson.  Instead, I feel like there is no way they can have it be anyone I care about.  And what’s this Red She Hulk?  I kind of want to call her Rush.  You know take “Rulk” and replace the “lk” with “she”.  Stupid I know, but I’m not saying Red She Hulk over and over again.  You can’t make me.

So we have all these characters I don’t really care about and a series that has been god awful for the past seven issues.  I thought the first issues were alright, and at least enjoyable.  Since then, Hulk has been awful and left alot unexplained.  I want a Hulk title with half decent character development and a respectable plot.  I think that after almost destroying the world, Bruce Banner would be concerned with turning into the Hulk.  No, it was like the whole thing never happened until 13 issues in.  My only hope is that with Greg Pak back on the team, he can make some of this stuff work.  Pak is a long time Hulk writer, and I trust him to do a bit more than Loeb.  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I love the Hulk.  He’s an amazing character and a cornerstone of the Marvel U.  Could WWHS be good?  Maybe.  A Skaar/Rulk fight could be fun, and I think it would be amazing if the Green Scar Hulk steps in to save his son.  Something to show Rulk how it’s really done.  That would be great.  If we see Bruce Banner get some character development, I’m on board.  They have a fantastic opportunity to explore the after effects of WWH, and I hope they don’t mess this up.

 Speaking of green, Hal Jordan’s first flight comes out on DVD tomorrow.  I’m hoping for big things and expect a full review tomorrow.

This is the match up you’ve been waiting for.  We’ve seen the Hulk take on the entire Marvel U, but hes never fought a foe quite like Optimus Prime.  In honor of the Transformers sequel, Ive decided to pit these two titans against each other. 

The Hulk is a mean, green, smashing machine.  You all know the back story, and you know that when he comes, you run away.  Hes taken on more then his fair share of robots, and usually with the same result: scrap heaps.  We’re not going to power him up to World Breaker-levels, as this is just unfair.  We’re going to be using standard Hulk strength, so something like what we saw in the Incredible Hulk movie.  Not unstoppable, but still the Hulk.

While the Hulk is a rampaging beast at best, Optimus is the epitome of cool.  An experienced leader, Optimus has fought with his autobots through hell and back.  Even without his army of unstoppable robots, Optimus is force to reckoned with. But Optimus has died once before at the hands of his nemesis, Megatron.  Sure, this is partially the fault of one of his own men, but Megatron knows how to exploit a situation like no other.  Im willing to bet the Hulk has probably died at some point, but never on the big screen.

 So who wins the face off?  Id imagine this is how it goes down.  Both contestants are ready to tangle, since its unfair to have Optimus try to reason this out first.  As the Hulk charges in, Optimus whips out his blaster and starts pounding the Hulk from afar.  The first couple of shots look like they do some damage, but the rest just get the Hulk angrier.  The Hulk finally close the distant, and lunges at Optimus.  The two collide.  The fist fight begins.  After a few punches, the two wrestle each other the ground in a battle of strenght.  As the fight intensifies, the Hulk starts cutting loose and begins to crush Optimus before lifting him above his head, and hurling him over the nearest mountain.  The Hulk screams victoriously, and preceeds to do whatever it is Hulk likes doing after a hard fought win.

 This a quick, speedy version of how I think the fight will go down.  I admit I might be a bit biased, but I love both characters and tried to reason it out.  Agree?  Disagree?  Let me hear your guys thoughts on the matter.  Optimus may be down, but hes never out.  Im sure hell be ready for round two in a moments notice.